Saturday, September 6, 2008

a few wasps I killed and collected in the past 3 days

My latest artwork...I call it "Exercise in Black & Yellow #3"
We had a wasp problem. There's a wall nest under the siding on the outside of the building. Our landlord doused it with poison and plugged it up, and now the little critters are looking for a way in and the ones that were in the nest are making their way into our bathroom and back hallway via inner wall routes. Here's a portion of the ones I've killed in the past 3 days (methods of death: numerous cans of spray, newspaper swatters, my boot, and my bug crushing fingers - had one in my shirt, amazingly didn't sting me). I have killed and collected...I kid you not...over 700 thus far. Here's a picture of one small part of the piles.

Friday, September 5, 2008

I'm writing a book and it's gonna be called...

"Living with Drama Queens: The Rational Man's Survival Guide"

Chapter 1: The "You were a jackass...six weeks ago" Housewife Drama Queen

Chapter 2: The 20-something "He's so hot...I'm moving to Hawaii!" Drama Queen

Chapter 3:
The High School "I need to go to that concert or I'll die!" Drama Queen
Chapter 4: The Junior High "I can't stand her anymore!" Drama Queen
Chapter 5: The dog's a male but he's around female humans all day so he has become an irritating drama queen now too
Chapter 6: Dealing with the frequent detours through crazy town
Chapter 7:
How to remain a rational man in a household full of irrational women

Chapter 8: Sanity in a Bottle: The properly stocked liquor cabinet for the man living in a drama queen household

Chapter 9: Creative ways to escape without actually having to kill anyone, including yourself

Chapter 10: How to write a journal for your descendants so that they know what hell you went through "back in great, great grampa's day"

This way to my house...